I’ll pay sumone to come take this lil toy home. She pees a lot too.

Da pigs are mine. Why won’t the toy stay in da box and let me play wit mah pigs and mah monkees?


Perhaps if i sit on da box, the toy will stay in it!

I has secretly suspected the creature of killing mah chewie so she could sleep inn his bed…Now dat mah chewie is home safe, i suppose i can look at her with different eyes. I will still be keep track of her misdeeds, after all I didno do those things!!!!! But perhaps she can stay and clean mah ears fer me! And i can once again call her mah toy!

Wit mah Chewie gone, I have been keeping track of da creature. Perhaps, i can git rid if her before mah Chewie comes home. Ima sure he would agree wit me.

Knock me down: 7
Molesting me: 4 (see picture)
Pee on mah mama’s Bed: 2
Pee on Chewie’s bed: 2
Pee on carpet: 150 (maybe ima guessing)
Bite mah mama’s ears: 3
Ate earring: 1
Chew on mah Chewie’s toys: 7
Unplugged lamp: 1
Hid rockband guitar: 2
Destroyed Credit Card: 1
Supected Eating of Own Poopie: 2
Caught Eating Her Poopie by mah Mama: 2
Eating old poopie in yard: 2

I tink I solved da mystery. Mah mama and the ricky broght home dis lil creature. Mah Chewie sez itsa lil alien like me, but despite what mah Chewie sez, Ima pug and dis does not look like me.

It smells like a girl.

She’s reel fast!

She likes cheese.

She’s super strong.

She sleeps outside….well, i wish she did, so I wouldn’t have to share mah bed.

Mah MaMa calls her pansy and lola and puppy and girl and sweetie, but i call her a mah lil toy. I dunno no about her being a pug tho!

Yesterday, mah Chewie disappeared. I waited in his chair fer him….

I ate all his food…see his plastic bowl that i canno eat out of. I have a stupid small bowl.

Then i found this…..this lil bed dat dono belong to me or mah chewie. Dat big bed is chewie. I slept in da big bed, but its too big. I slept in da small bed, but its too small…where is mah bed?

something strange is going on! Mah Chewie came home and i tink he was on drugs…...he seems okay today.

Turns out mah mama didno even leave the Ricky home. I was all alone fer weeks!! Mah Mama came home lookin even more like me.

I have heard more talk about dis Pansy…Something about Pansy Pants de Lola Pug….A pink bed also turned up in mah room. I do no like pink!!!!